


Caught Out

by merelypassingtime



Series: Symbrock Outings [2]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, I'm Sorry, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 19:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelypassingtime/pseuds/merelypassingtime
Summary: When Eddie finds himself in trouble late at night again he is smart enough to call Dan, not Anne.





	Caught Out

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all were so kind and supportive about my last bit of dialogue-only Symbrock weirdness that you inspired me to write a sequel.  
> You have no one to blame but yourselves.  
> (Thank you! I love you all!)

(ringing)

Doctor Dan Lewis.

Hey Dan!

Hello? To whom am I speaking?

Oh, yeah, right. It’s Eddie.

Eddie?

Eddie Brock.

OH! Eddie! Sorry, I assumed the call was from the hospital. 

Yeah, I know it’s sorta late. Sorry.

What do you need? Did you want Anne, she’s right-

Oh god, no! Don’t tell Anne.

(drawn out) Okaaay… What am I not telling Anne?

Well… I might need your help.

My help? With what? Is the parasite eating your organs again? Should I send an ambulance? Where are you?

No, no nothing like that! (aside) No, I know you’re not a parasite. No we aren’t going to eat Dan, we need him.

Need me for what, Eddie? Because Anne’s warned me… You know I’ve taken an oath to do no harm, and no offense, but I’m not helping you hide any bodies.

What? No! Nothing like that. God, what’s Annie been telling you?

Well...

You know what? No, this isn't the time. We just need you to come pick us up from the police station and sign some stuff.

(deep sigh) Again, Eddie?

Hey! It’s not like I call every night! This is only the second time we’ve been arrested this year.

Mmm… Sorry. You are right, that’s completely reasonable. So, why were you arrested this time? 

Does it matter?

Well, I need to know how much bail money to bring, don’t I?

No. We only got a ticket.

Geesh, Eddie. Then why did you wake us up? Just take an Uber home.  
We’ve been blacklisted by Uber. Besides, the police will only release me into someone’s custody. 

Into someone’s custody? Why? (pause) Were you naked in public again?

Eh, no. Not quite.

Not quite naked? So you were half naked?

No! We were fully clothed.

So? 

...

Eddie, look, it’s really late. I think it’d be better if you just told me.

(sighs) It was for public indecency and lewd acts.

‘Lewd acts’? What does that mean?

Are you really going to make me spell it out?

Spell what out?

(sigh) They caught us having sex in an alleyway in the Mission district.

Eddie!

Yeah, I know.

I didn’t even know you were seeing someone!

(sounding puzzled) Yeah, you did.

Oh! Have I meant her?

(loaded silence)

Or him? Which is fine.

Yeah, you have. Several times.

Oh? When?

Well, probably most memorably in the MRI room when he tried to choke you to death.

Wha-oh. OH. Er, sorry. I had no idea you guy were… um…

Dating? 

I was going to say, ‘having sex.’ How do you two even- You know what, actually, I don’t think I want to know.

Hey! Just because you’re too perfect to do anything like have sex in public doesn’t mean you get to judge us.

You mean I’m too perfect to get caught at it.

Wow. Really? Way to go Dan!

Come to think of it, how did they catch you guys?

Well, um, I guess I was being rather loud and-

Ugh, no. Too much detail. I mean, why didn’t you two just go all… big and masked and make a run for it?

Oh, yeah. Well, neither of us were thinking very clearly at the time.

I’m immediately sorry I asked.

Are you sure? I could go on, with detail, and maybe some dramatic reenactments… Or you could come and pick me up. Right now.

(sighs) Fine. I’ll be there in about an hour.

Thanks Dan! You’re the greatest!

Yeah, yeah. Just remember that next time your boyfriend’s hungry.

**We do not eat friends anymore!**

So helpful, darling.

Um..

(quickly) Thanks again Dan! See you soon.

(click)

(female voice, speaking between gales of laughter previously muffled by a pillow) You know I love you, but you really are too nice.

Yeah, I know.

Make sure to take pictures before you sign the paperwork. I’m starting a photo album...


End file.
